The secret to healthy and strong legs of Family and Work — Relationships. The magic elixir for dynamic and vibrant relationships — Rich Conversation.
All we do begins with a thought.
Many think a conversation is defined as, “I’ll talk — you listen.” A few know that conversation is an art form of creative reciprocity.
Narcissists in the first group are infatuated with themselves and their Role Power. Expressionists in the second group are focused on service to others, through the synergy of Relationship Power.
Those caught up in the stratosphere of their Role Power operate from the premise that they have all the answers. As a result, they feel quite justified in doing things to others. Their approach is the ‘easy’ one of Process — since they do what they want, when they want and how they want. It is measurable, quantifiable, and miserable.
The purveyors of Relationship Power practice in the realm of intangibles. Because they believe People are more important than Process, each day is a new adventure of doing for others. Their journey is the ‘hard’ one of accepting the reality that the only constant in life is change. People change. What they want changes. How they want it changes. And, “Why?” is an oft asked question.
Are we courageous enough to say “Yes!” — to the discovery of another person? Do we have the strength to leave our comfort zone — of the well-worn rut and well-known routine — to accept the uncertainty of a new adventure? Can we imagine ourselves strapped into the Captain’s chair of a space shuttle with our hand on the throttle calmly announcing, “I’m-A-Go.”
Partners cross a bridge into each other’s worlds, motivated not only by the Receiver’s desire to ‘hear and understand’ but also to meet the Sender’s need to be ‘heard and understood’ — with a commitment to slow down our lives and devote specific uninterrupted time to our relationships. Ultimately saying to the other, “I respect your otherness. I want to learn from it. And — I want to share mine with you.”
Discovering two distinct worlds — Whenever two people are involved, there are always two realities. These realities will always be different in small and large ways, no matter what. And — the reality of the other person can be understood, accepted, valued, and even loved. Yet, it cannot be made identical to our own.
Clear communication is a window into the world of your partner. Truly being heard is a powerful aphrodisiac.
Without change, there is no growth. We are confined to the fate of remaining stuck in our unhappiness.
Change is the catalyst for healing.
Finally, we learn to see our partners for themselves — with their own private world of personal meaning, their own ideas and dreams — and, not merely as extensions of ourselves, or as we wish they were. Our approach becomes, “I want to know how you think.”
A conscious relationship is a spiritual path which leads us home again — to joy and aliveness, to the feeling of oneness we started out with. We learn to express love as a behavior daily, in large and small ways. In other words — in stretching to give our partner what they need, we learn to love. The transformation of our relationships may not be accomplished easily or quickly. We are setting off on a lifelong journey.
As we pack our mental suitcase, let’s celebrate in leaving the limitations of ‘process’ behind. Let’s lift our eyes to an unlimited future of ‘people’ exploration — with it’s priceless treasures just waiting to be discovered — in a shuttle christened “Rich Conversation“.